Monday, April 5, 2010

Why am I here today?

I started this blog a few weeks ago to spread a bit of the dharma via my thoughts.  Now I don't claim to be a guru, but the path of the Buddha has helped me through some rough times.  It's not all sunshine and roses, and I know that it doesn't have to be (see what I did there...lol).  Still I try my best to accept each moment as it's handed to me.

The past week or so has presented a few situations I had a difficult time coming to terms with.  I held it together well for a while then...well...not so good.  I am still in the process of building my support structure, and the people I wanted to talk to made themselves unavailable.  In the past that would have bothered me tremendously, but I used them as a lesson in tolerance.  I know I don't have to let those people into my life at a level to hurt me.  I do not have to be completely transparent.  I do have the right to let their negativity pass through rather than hold onto whatever bitterness I may generate.  I am the master of my emotional destiny.  I can accept the negativity that arises inside of me and use it as a teaching tool.

Why am I creating these feelings?
What is the root of those feelings?
What do I gain from feeling this way?  What is my reward?

I am learning to ask myself these questions when I being to feel this way.  I am digging down deep inside myself and reconnecting with my feelings.

It was still a rough weekend, but much self reflection and a few hugs helped out.

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